Wednesday, July 15, 2009

In the Midst of a Mood Swing...

I am annoyed. I intend to whine. If you're not in the mood for a rant, I suggest you walk away or close your browser now. You know the expression that says, "Bad things come in threes." Well, in my case, it's four (so far). First of all, my car died. The little glorified golfcart known as my red Kia just ground to a halt and stopped.

Shortly after and secondly, the well water pump died. Imagine having company at your house (be they family or not) and the toilets won't flush because there is no (I repeat NO) running water for 36 hours. In a word, it sucked (or more specifically, didn't).

Third, I made a terrible discovery in the mirror. I was scratching my face and I felt something prickly. Have you ever touched a cactus and caught a little spine under your skin? That's what it felt like. Not painful, just there and disconcerting. I made my way to the mirror to pull out the prickle and OH SHIT! it was a mustache hair. I stood there thinking, "No way! I'm too young!" and visions, like the one below, came to mind.

Yesterday afternoon, my son and I went to have our annual eye checkups. Everything was going along fine until the doctor "clucked," shook his head and made a "Hrumph" sound. "Well, Mrs. Soltani, you're going to need bifocals probably next year. For now, get yourself some reading glasses." I thought to myself, "No f***ing way! I'm too young!" This morning, I went to see my family physician and lovely man that he is, he took excellent care of me. As I was waiting for my brand new prescription of P-R-O-Z-A-C to be filled, I tried on some reading glasses and learned that the damned opthamolgist was right.

I really don't mind aging - - I genuinely don't. What I object to - - STRENUOUSLY - - are the side effects, such as reading glasses, a mustache hair on my upper lip, mood swings of apocalyptic proportions and other indignities. Now that I'm older, I like to think of myself as wiser, more experienced, kinder, more patient (except for today) and a several other nice things. What I'm not coping so well with is going from this...

in principle

to this....

End of rant. Thank you for listening/reading. SWAK!


Anonymous said...

OMG - who sent you that picture of me (could be any of those other than the sexy wonder woman)?!

As for the mustache hair, that doesn't mean you're getting old; I've had it since I was a teen. Talk to me when you start getting the beard hairs - now those SUCK!


Jadielady said...

Oh Dana, please tell me you've seen

And I've got chin hairs that hide under the skin until just the right time and then POP out all dark and curly and several inches long. Ug.
And most guys think glasses are sexy. Its a librarian thing I think.

Becky said...

Dana, I have just picked myself up from the floor! Even in the midst of a rant you made me laugh!! You're not getting older, you're just getting better. All that other stuff is just accessories! Think about it, there are lots of perks to getting older. You can fart and nobody says anything about it because "bless her heart, she can't help it". You can speak your mind, finally, and it's okay becaue "she's getting a little cantankerous", you can have selective memory, selective hearing, and declare everything you say is correct, and you can tell your kids it's their turn to take care of you. If you are feeling a little pervy on any given day, it's okay if you want to flash some good looking young thing because "she's getting a little confused". Probably many more things I could think of. Anyway, just enjoy! Just so you know, I'm older than you! ;^)

Dianne said...

Please know that I have all available strengths of drugstore eyeglasses right here at your disposal..I also have the 10X mirror for detecting those rude little hairs that pop up..and foremost..I promise if I ever see one and you missed it..I'll tell you privately, but please return the's annoying as hell...but at least he didn't say you have glaucoma and you're doomed to drops until you reach the blind stage..

KnitNana said...

I know, hon, I know. We're in this together. So...LET's, by heaven, have a blast doing it! Okay?

I'm gonna have to get me one of Dianne's 10x mirrors, methinks...chin hairs..yup. (DEEP sigh).

Angela Cox said...

You should worry , Holly found a long hair growing out of my ear-lobe !! Sympathy as to the toilet I managed to screw up the flush on ours so Jeff had to be on bucket duty until he mended it but at least we had water.

Marianne said...

You really should have put a warning, 'pee before reading'. I've been laughing for 5 minutes, between your post and the comments. yes. (Becky, I'm pointing at you).
So sorry about the non-suckage situation due to dead well water pump.
So very sorry about your Kia.
I had to learn to wear glasses. and now at all times.
You can pluck or you can use 'stuff' to remove those pesky crazy hairs. I've always had lots of hair on my face/body, almost furry (I KNOW that sounds crazy.. but Marilyn Monroe was the same way as are lots of fair complexion folks) and I never minded that, but those 'crazy' hairs? argh.
Bobby isn't the only one shaving nowadays. lol.
I hope things get better... car/water pump...